War with a "grasshopper"

Is that a grasshopper? I don't know...
It's black... It jumps...
It would be very funny if I took a video of the whole war.
No photos, no video, no audio...

As you know my first paper is on the 15th November - HUBS3410 Advance skills in Research Design, we have thousands of journals to read up... blah~ cut the crapz!
I was planning to get away from my laptop and sit on my bed to read the journals when suddenly I saw a disgusting black creature facing out of my window beside my bed!! My reflex is to GET RID OF it.

It's just a small insect. You've killed a cockroach as big as a 50 cent coin... No no no no... bigger than a 50 cent coin... what's the big deal killing this tiny winy creature which is only the size of a capsule? I told myself. No, I'm not exaggerating, the cockroach is seriously gigantic!

So, I approached it with a piece of tissue and paper, wanting to capture it. "Muahahaha!" I thought. All of a sudden, it jumped! CRAP! It jumped sooooooo high till I got so freaked out and screamed. "Kiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" It skilfully landed on my bolster while I jumped backwards. Darn it! Now I have to wash my bolster cover, I grumbled. Ok, I must get you this time! I approached it slowly with the same piece of tissue and paper. Having the unpleasant first experience, I was especially cautious this time. "Kiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" It jumped again! This time next to my laundry basket.

Muahahahahaha... I'm so gonna squash you with the basket! *evil grin* CRAP! It jumped about 30cm away and this was where I covered it with the paper that I was holding at all times and grabbed my heavy red lab induction folder next to me, angrily smashed on the white paper. To make sure it really died, I smashed it with the folder 4 or 5 times. I confidently opened up the paper! "Kiaaaaaaaaaaah!" It jumped away and landed on the open ground near my chair. Hmpff! So tough huh!?! I grabbed a few folders near me and smashed at it but I missed a couple of times until the last two hits! YES!!! Die....... *removed the folder*..... NOT!!! IT JUMPED AGAIN! I'm so frustrated now! I seriously am... It landed on the ground near my indoor slippers. Ha! You will die this time... I ran into the living room to get my outdoor slippers... I removed everything out of my way and stepped on it 2 times? or 3 times?

NOW... die or not? ....NOT!!! It energetically jumped onto my bed. DARN IT! I have to wash my bedsheets now! I ran into the living room again to get whatever catalogue I can find on the table and rolled them into a bat. *Attackkkkkkk!* Oops... missed a few times until I got it. BUT WHAT? It jumped onto the wall. *On FIRE* I ran into the living room to get that abandoned football. I continuously threw the ball onto the wall and thought I got it. In fact, I DID! It just wouldn't dieeeeeeeee!

It fell or jumped onto my pig... *Sobz* I cautiously grabbed the pig, wanting to bring it to the living room to get rid of that ugly creature since it's more spacious. This irritating creature jumped off the pig to my China Airline pillow... *msn alert* Oh! It's my cousin... I have to win this war as soon as possible...

ARGH! OK! I have had enough of this... I wasn't as brave as I mentioned.
*Cries* replied my cousin and at the same time messaged HL...
"Help!!!!!!!!"
He was forcefully dragged into the war... He managed to capture that black and ugly creature in 30 seconds with a plastic bag while it took me 30 minutes war-ring with that THING by all means!!! GOSH!!